Best Porn Movie Parody Titles. From Grand Theft Orgy to Quantum Deep to Whorecraft, one of the most enduring sub- genres of quality pornography has always been the porn parody – paying homage to (and, ahem, cashing in on) mainstream media franchises for some naughty, hardcore action. At very least, it’s not another installment of the Scary Movie franchise.

As a rule, if people are talking or acting then it doesn’t quite count as proper pornography in our book – however, for these upmarket efforts, we’ll make an exception! Here are 2. 5 of the best porn movie titles based on original feature films! American Booty. A middle aged man dreams about having sex with his daughter’s friend, his daughter has a relationship with the neighbor’s son and his wife has sex with the King of Real Estate; with its tale of randy suburbia, American Beauty was ripe for a porno makeover. And so it did come to pass with this tricky number, which simplifies matters by having some grad school studs move into Monique and Midori’s flat. To the point, we say, and cut out all that crap about bags floating in the wind. Missionary Position Impossible 2. Just like the Tom Cruise film of the very similar name, the Missionary Position Impossible movie became a franchise, and just like Cruise and co, the cast of MPI would do extraordinarily dangerous (and yet cavalier) things like lighting dynamite at hip height.

Points are awarded for a punning tagline: “It feels so good… should you decide to accept it.”2. Twinklight. Love Edward, hate Bella? That’s because: Vampires. Are. Gay. Emphasising the point Twinklight does the obvious and crosses Twilight with twinks – the younger, slenderer, more hairless gay man- about- town, for those not in the know. Just think RPatz, if you’re still confused. As the film’s tagline asks: “What is life if lived alone?” It then goes on to answer with rutting boy vamps.

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The Da Vinci Load 2: Angels and Semen. While The Da Vinci Load might have adequately spoofed Dan Brown’s conspiracy thriller, the sequel raised the game a bar by adding a double pun – which preceded the Da Vinci Code’s sequel by two years. Cracking, filthy stuff! We do rather suspect that the ‘symbology’ on offer here might be of the rather obvious kind. A Tale of Two Titties. Picking up the title of Charles Dickens’s classic novel about Paris during the French revolution, this is actually a historical anthology piece, including tales about princes, princesses and giants.

And of course lots and lots of shagging. Our only bone of contention with the title is that there are far more than two titties on offer here.

Titty Titty Gang Bang. While this might have less than nothing to do with Ian Fleming’s children’s film, it’s a marvellous use of a parody title. And who on Earth would want to watch a porn version of Chitty Chitty, with a flying car and the child snatcher? Yikes. 1. 9. San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon. You’re going to be disappointed – San Fernando isn’t the giant woman on the middle of the DVD cover; Fernie is actually Ron Jeremy (as seen in the bottom right corner), the most famous and most rat like of all pornographic entertainers. Nevertheless, with a fedora, whip and an intimate familiarity with the exotic secrets of the Orient, Indy was made for porn.

And poon is certainly sexier than doom. Raiders of the Lost Arse. Extending to a two- parter, here’s another Indy inspired epic, this time of the distinctly more masculine kind, if you want to call it that. We assume that in this caper Indy is rather more fond of the trouser snake than was previously thought.

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Dr Jones never did seem to much like the ladies, for all the time he spent in their company, and it was with a certain amount of revulsion that we greeted the prospect that Shia The Beouf was to be the wee Indie Jr. We can only assume that the makers of Lost Arse (‘arse’ means bottom, by the way) were considerably more appalled. Edward Penishands. Take Tim Burton’s tortured modern Frankenstein and then replace his arms with a pair of gigantic meat truncheons. Porntastic! He won’t be trimming your hedges but he’s essentially perfect for porn. And if you think like the makers of Penishands did, you’ll probably find that hilarious.

Spawning a sequel, we can only imagine that this one did better than the Johhny Depp original. Analyze These. This could very well be the actual title of an Analyze This sequel (see Analyze That starring Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal).

However, fortunately for the makers of this Horizon DVDs movie, it isn’t. Naturally, the film follows the well worn path of psychoanalysis turning to lesbian sex scenes. Only that analysis was apparently mainly below the neckline. Ba- zing! 1. 5. Forrest Hump. While Forrest Gump had a fair amount of sex of one kind or another, it was generally of the miserable kind, as Forrest and Jenny wound their way through America’s mid to late 2. Hence, of course, parody ahoy! The bench, the box of chocolates, hippies having sex.

What more could you want? Bi- tanic. Sch- wing. The somewhat marginal bisexual film genre invariably struggles to get the word ‘bi’ into all its titles, but with this parody number the only way was up. Imagine if Leo and Billy Zane could have just got their rocks off and then everyone would have been happy after all – because, as we recall, Leo only died because Kate hoiked him off a floating log after she ditched a lifeboat.

Tits a Wonderful Life. Identify a classic feel good film and add tits. It’s magical. From the director of Foreskin Gump and A League of their Moan, Tits takes a different route to cheering George up, leading him away from suicide with lots and lots of sex. That’d make anyone happy. Pulp Friction. Replacing Fiction with some erotic Friction, this is one thoroughly conscientious parody. Remember Quentin Tarantino’s magnum opus? Well imagine the next thing to happen after every scene was some sex.

And remember all that violence? Replace that with sex as well. Sluts and the City.

When you’re taking the word ‘sex’ out of a title in order to porn it up, something strange is going on (however people might have described SATC). However, with the franchise moving to the cinema a (loose) remake became inevitable – and just how difficult could it possibly be to take four women and place them in a series of faintly unlikely sex scenes around New York? Watch Krampus: The Devil Returns Online. Bon voyage, Big Apple. A Clockwork Orgy.